Newsletter > November 2004
Some Different Marine Definitions
Aboard – 1) A piece of construction lumber. 2) What one becomes when one is a-uninterested.
Afterguy-Last guy in a line
Amidships – Surrounded by boats. Often confused with the displaying of an anchor.
Anchor – 1) A device designed to bring up mud and weed samples from the bottom. 2) What you display when you’re surrounded by other boats.
Anchor Light- A small light used to indicate the battery condition.
Berth – A newborn crew member.
Bitter End – 1) The last racer of the finish line. 2) The wrong end of a siphon hose. 3) The time to alert the bartender in the English pub. (USA definition=Last Call before closing.)
Boom – Loud noise made during a jibe sometimes quieted by a grinder before swimming. (also see Grinder, Helmsman).
Boomkin – A very young boom.
Bottom Paint – 1) Paint found on a pair of pants after the cockpit seats have been freshly painted. 2) The most dented can of paint.
Bow – 1) The best part of the ship to ram another with. 2) Front part of catamarans often found underwater.
Bunk – Location to store unused sails.
Can Buoy – (Pronounced Can BOY) – A male with diarrhea.
Chart – A nautical map that shows what you just hit.
Chine – Word used after, “rise and …”
Chock – Full right up to here…
Clew – 1) What a skipper is inclined to do. 2) An oriental crew member. 3) What a new sailor doesn’t have any of.
Companionway – 1) A double berth. 2) A narrow channel.
Cunningham- A sly pig.
Dangerous Waters – Lying to your spouse.
Deadrise – Waking up before sunrise.
Dead Reckoning – 1) What a Southern Doctor pronounces after a sailor goes to Davy Jone’s Locker. 2) Using a map instead of a chart.
Deviation – 1) Shipboard orders given by a landlubber. 2) Any departure from the captain’s orders. 3) A ship full of deviates.
Displacement – Accidental loss, i.e. when you dock your boat and later can’t find it.
Estimated Position – 1) Where you’re not. (common after multiple rhumb lines.)
Foreguy – 1) First guy in a line.
Foul Wind – 1) A breeze made by a goose. 2) An odor.
Freeboard – 1) Food supplies from the owner. 2) Free lumber.
Great Circle – 1) Ships course when the rudder is stuck. 2) What’s around your eye after a fight. 3) A depression left in a seat cushion.
Grinder – Crew member stationed near the boom and enjoys swimming. (see boom).
Halyard – 1) Line that fails when you’re winning 2) Measurement according to Hal.
Hatch – 1) Opening on a boat made to fall in. 2) Where you store eggs. 3) What a lookout wears on his head while cruising the polar regions.
Headway – 1) What you are making when fixing the toilet. 2) A desert the cook makes, similar to “curds ‘n whey”.
Heaving Line – 1) The line used to hold onto while being sick. Often found after making headway. 2) The location next to a rhumb line.
Heave to – The second person to get sick.
Keel – A heavy depth gauge.
Helmsman – 1) One who actually listens to the tactician. 2) A crew member who enjoys an uncontrollable jibe. (also see Boom).
Landlubber – Anyone on board who shouldn’t be.
Latitude – The number of degrees “off-course” allowed to a guest.
Lazy Guy – Most sailers when they’re not
Lazy Jack – 1) The title given to the guy who’s crewed on other boats one time only. 2) Item found in trunk of car that has very good tires and/or often left at home by trailer sailers.
Leech- A crewmember that’s always broke.
Luff- What a helmsman never notices. (see Telltale)
Marine Flashlight – Waterproof place to store dead batteries.
Naval Warfare – Two bellies rubbing.
Nun Buoy (pronounced Nun BOY)- A religious transvestite.
OD Paint – Paint applied Over-Dirt.
Port – A fine red wine, always stowed on the left side of the boat.
Reef Point – A portion of rock sticking out of the water.
Rhumb Line – Two or more crew members waiting for a drink.
Ring Buoy – Otherwise known as a ring bearer in weddings
Round Rigger – 1) Crew member who hides in a rum barrel. 2) Opposite of a square rigger.
Sextant – 1) A brass device used to detect night time activities of guests. 2) Canvass shelter devices used while camping when the kids are in school.
Sheet – 1) Line designed to make gloves fail. 2) Something with the ability to tangle on anything.
Shroud – Equipment used in connection with the wake.
Snatch Block – 1) A term used by sailors returning late from shoreleave. 2) A female crew member you can’t seem to get around.
Spinnaker – A large sail deployed in dead calm winds used to keep the crew busy.
Spring Line – 1) A line purchased at the beginning of the season. 2) Coils of metallic rope.
Square Rigger – 1) An old salt. 2) Sailor who goes to sleep early. 3) Opposite of a round rigger.
Submarine – A long sandwich.
Swell – 1) The best of something. 2) A mound made by mosquitoes you’ll probably scratch.
Tactician – 1) One who counts screws and nails. 2) The luckiest or sorriest member of a crew.
Telltale – Talk about last night on shore.
Throw Line – An excuse used by a baseball pitcher after blowing it.
Winch – An object you grind until it groans. (Often confused with wench)
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